The Drabble Collection
by Alithea
Summary: A collection of drabbles and poems inspired by characters from Utena. Shoujoai content.
1. The Visitor

**Title: The Visitor: A Ruka and Shiori drabble.  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Ruka recieves a much un expected visitor.  
Characters are not mine. I am just borrowing**

He sat in bed, deep blue eyes lingering on the world outside his hospital room. His mind kept drifting over what had happened, and he reminded himself that there was nothing to regret, except that he did not have much time. Time, though, was always something that felt in short supply for him. For as long as he could remember it was a question mark, but when he could, he never gave up. It was just one of life's mysteries, and he always amazed the doctors with his recoveries. He lived with a broken heart.

A soft, slightly bitter chuckle left his throat at the thought, the figurative and physical ironies compounding in his mind. His heart was bad, and it was indeed broken. Would she never forgive him? Would she even come to visit, would she, even if she knew where he was? No, not his girl, she was much too weak for that. She had a vision of health in her mind and she kept him there eternally, she wouldn't want to admit this weakness of his. Even if she hated him, and for the moment it was fine that she did. So long as she was free and could see for herself that she was wrong. He left her with the only words he knew how to give her. He said, "Don't worry."

He shifted his position in the bed. The sound of shoes striding toward his room gave him pause. He never had many visitors, mostly doctors and nurses. The occasional relative would filter in but not often. He wondered if he had fooled them into thinking he would die one too many times, only to spring back to life. A small pain squeezed at his chest and he winced a bit as his hand reached over. He could call the nurse but such pain was common and passing. It filtered away slowly and he was left to recover from it when someone entered the room.

At the sight of the girl, the very sight of her, his eyes narrowed. There wasn't a need to pretend any longer and he still hated her. She was nothing. She was a liar and he had proved it. She was a tiny thing an insect deserving of her fate under the weight of his boot. He wanted to tell her to get out, but she had a curious expression on her face. It was one of pure contempt.

Good, let her hate me then. It's better we feel the same for each other anyway. He thought as she pulled herself closer to his bed.

For a moment he thought she was just going to stare at him and then leave. He was perfectly fine with that prospect. He didn't particularly wish to speak with her anyway, but she pulled up a chair and took a seat. There was darkness to her violet eyes that he had not noticed before. After all when he looked into her eyes before there was only the light spark of wanting that he had placed there, and then of course there was the flowing of her tears once he had proven his point concerning her. Once he had set his trap to free the one he loved. 

"I hate you." She said quickly, that jagged little voice laced with much he recognized.

He set his jaw and tried not erupt with anger. He wanted to. She had no business being there. Why was she bothering him with such trivial things? Why would he ever care how she felt? He would never forgive her, not for anything. 

"Is that all?" he managed to ask, a slight sneer pressing at his lips.

She looked away and then brushed her hair back from her face. "I could hate you forever for what you did to me."

There was more, he could feel it waiting on her tongue.

"I suppose we have that in common. We'll probably never forgive each other, but it's okay, Ruka. I'm happy for it."

"Pardon?"

"You showed me who I really am."

Her eyes narrowed with something that was not quite bitter. She looked like she was going to cry but she didn't. She held herself very well, for one confronting a sick man in a hospital. He wondered if she knew how insulting she was.

She shifted in her chair and chewed at her bottom lip for a moment and then continued, "I don't like who I am. I've never...never really liked who I am, but now...after you... I could almost hate myself."

Only, almost, he thought. You should hate yourself. You should remember your place.

"Why are you here? In fact, how did you even know where I was, Shiori?"

"A mutual acquaintance was kind enough to direct me in your direction." She grimaced and then said, "I wanted to thank you, Ruka, for being a bastard and showing me what I am. That, is why I am here."

He gritted his teeth and then relaxed his jaw looking away from her. "You have given your thanks, and you may take your leave. I don't want anything to do with you."

She got out of her chair. "She'll never forgive you if you die. Try not to."

He tried to wrap himself around the words as Shiori made her way out of his room. he wanted to stop her and ask her what she meant, why it mattered, but he didn't. He couldn't even muster a command to the insect that she had better not tell Juri where he was. He wanted to say he didn't want or need of visitors, but the words were frozen in his throat. Juri would never love him that he was certain of, but it was okay so long as she stopped loving Shiori, as long as she was free, and could see and...

Ruka put his hand back to his chest again as the pain returned. He winced, clenching his jaw as he rode it out, as he started to laugh. It was too much...it was too much to wish for. It was like wishing that Juri would love him. And Shiori wanted to thank him for showing what a horrible person she was. What had he done? What had he opened things up to become?

His chuckle died away slowly and he reached for the call button, pressing it and asking for the nurse.

End.


	2. Mere Your Pathetic Light

**Title: Mere Your Pathetic Light  
****A poem inspired by Akio**

Mere your pathetic light  
The dawning of greatness  
Of everlasting accomplishment  
And yet you will fade  
Like a star in the sky  
In time you will fall  
And falling, cast no doubt upon the world  
That no light is forever  
No greatness lasting  
A tribute to the shadow  
And you will sacrifice all  
Burning out and down to the earth  
Where no man will catch you  
Wishes will be thrust upon you  
And whether you should want it or not  
You will be forced to seeing them true  
Forced to give all you are  
And for what  
What is this pathetic light  
This power you think you hold  
What is this heroism  
This mask of kindness you should show  
Mere your pathetic light  
You will eventually come to know  
That in the end it is but the shadow  
That holds what will never go


	3. Coffee In Paris

**Title: Coffee In Paris: A Juri drabble  
****Rating: PG  
****Summery: Juri has a discussion over a cup of coffee with her elder sister.  
****Characters do not belong to me. I am just borrowing.**

Juri sighed, leaning onto the table, hands folded together, and she stared into the depths of her of coffee. Avoiding the emerald green gaze of the woman across from her, she clenched her jaw momentarily before saying, "What?"

The woman across from her leaned back into her chair, crossing her legs, and folded her arms across her chest, her gaze never wavering and she sighed as well. Her sigh though was marked with exasperation. It was almost the sound of a parent giving way when a child has disappointed, but she was not Juri's mother. She was her older sister. Her appearance was very similar, though her hair a shade darker, and of course her eyes being a distinct green rather than the ever changing hazel that graced Juri's features. She was lost in thought for a moment and then leaned forward, arms uncrossing as she placed them gently on the table, fingers tracing over her butter knife.

"Who is she?"

Juri's expression creased in frustration, confusion, and thought all at once. She wanted to know how her sister did that. No one else could ever do _that_, just read her feelings so exactly even if a bit off. She shook her head.

"Well, then if not that, what is it?"

Hazel eyes moved to meet the emerald before her and she sat up, arms folding over her chest.

Passersby would have marveled at the similarities between the two, the mannerisms, and the tone the voices took. And the sisters would have denied it should anyone mention it. They would have also been irritated and sent such a person away with a sharp glare, or a cutting remark.

"I..." Juri fought for words and then settled on. "Something happened at school this year. I don't want to forget it."

"Why would you forget?" She took a sip from her own drink and waited patiently for a reply.

"Experience leads me to believe heroes end up forgotten."

A dark auburn eyebrow quirked at the statement and she nodded sadly. "Not on purpose, you know, and never fully."

"I know...but then it slips from real to a story and I... I want to keep it real."

The woman considered that and then said, "Well... If that is what you want I think you will. Memory is carried by each of us in our own way. Some of us forget, and some of us remember."

Juri nodded, eyes drifting back to her coffee, getting lost in the darkness there. She let out another sigh. She could feel her sister's questioning glance. She would never divulge the story to her sister. She did not think she ever could. It was hard for them to speak to each other sometimes, so silence would often carry things for them until one or the other found suitable words.

It had been months since the events at the school had ended, and The Bride had left the school which left the others free to move on as well. It was an odd feeling. It was hard to know what to do with it. It was frightening to think that some how she could wake and everything would fall back into the way it had been. She wore no locket at her neck. She carried no chain. Her mind only wanted to work things out.

She picked up her cup and drank from it, enjoying the warmth and the flavor.

"Mother and father want to know if you are going to insist with modeling?"

"Only through college...I don't like it much."

Her sister smirked, "So, what are your plans?"

She shrugged.

"I'm sure they'll love that."

"Oh certainly." She rolled her eyes. At the school she was a panther, she was icy, the stoic fencing captain, but there with her sister she was the youngest and could not help but to be a bit of a teenager. She thought for a moment and then asked, "You haven't told them yet have you?"

Emerald eyes went wide, "Are you crazy? They'd both implode. No, and I won't. It isn't my job."

Juri chuckled low and nodded slightly.

The woman leaned in again, "But seriously, Juri... Who is she?"

"Why do you think there is anyone?"

"Because you're doing that _thing_."

Juri grinned and took in a deep breath. "That thing" was used to describe a quite indescribable expression that would cross her face. Her sister was the only one that seemed to pick it up. Well, that was not really true; others caught it they just didn't know what it was.

"I'm not sure she's worth mentioning yet."

"I think you're lying to your older sister." She smirked and then leaned back into her chair.

"I think...I can tell you when there is something to tell, but for now..." She looked over at her sister and arched an eyebrow, "Why don't you tell me about that ring you are wearing?"

Her sister grinned, covering the trinket with her hand. The two began to chuckle and it was all that was needed for the moment.

End.


	4. Icecream Social

**Title: Ice Cream Social- Shiori and Juri drabble  
Rating: PG-13  
Shoujo-ai content.  
Summary: A confession comes at what feels like the wrong time.  
Characters are not mine. I am just borrowing**

She was mid bite when the confession hit her ears. As her mind scrambled to put the contents of what she just heard together, a bit of her ice cream sundae dripped from her spoon and back into the bowl with an undignified plop. She sighed and put the spoon down. Unimaginable silence was one thing she knew would not serve as an acceptable reply. She grimaced and the young woman across from her bit at her bottom lip.

It was so unfair. Things had been going so well for them over the past few months. It had taken her weeks after joining the fencing team to put away some of the resentment. It had taken even longer for her even approach the very stoic fencing captain and to utter words that she, for once, actually meant. From there it seemed strange that their friendship could resume, but they had made some promises to each other and she fully intended to keep them...this time. She had to keep them this time.

This new development, however, wasn't making things any easier.

She sucked in a deep breath and drummed up the courage to say, "I don't suppose you would be joking?"

Auburn locks shook in the negative.

"I didn't think you would be...Not about..._that_ at any rate."

She watched hazel eyes close and felt a deep pang of guilt. She wanted to say, "Don't do this to me, Juri. I'm not ready for this kind of thing, Juri. Things were going so well, why did you have to say that?" But she couldn't. The fencer could probably sense that. In fact Juri Arisugawa was well known for her ability to read people. Well, she could read anyone who wasn't Shiori Takatsuki at any rate.

A sickening silence crept up around them and the over ripe cheer of the 1950's American themed restaurant slowly dissipated under the thickness of it. There was little for either to do except say something that might save a friendship that was already on shaky ground.

"Maybe...maybe I should go," Juri muttered.

She was stopped by the sound of a petite fist pounding the table top.

"Sit down."

"This isn-"

The girl's face twisted into a scowl and her violet eyes suddenly seemed hot with rage. That anger slowly faded and she said, "I don't understand you. I really don't, especially after everything we've been through. Juri... I don't want to lose your friendship again. I've fought so hard to keep it. But I can't... I..." She paused and looked down into the melting depths of her dessert and continued, "I don't feel the same."

She looked up very slowly. She half expected to see tears and she half expected to see rage. She hardly thought she would receive the mere half-hearted grin that met her. A confused look swept over her face.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Because you didn't stand up and scream at me for being disgusting."

The thought clattered amid her brain for a moment before it stopped long enough to look at it for what it was. She had not thought of that. In the past, she supposed, she would have done exactly what Juri had just said. In the past her jealous and miniscule rage at the mere idea would have erupted up through her, as her pretty little mouth found new ways to insult the fencer. But this was the present...and presently she found that she was very proud of herself.

End.


	5. That Old Book on the Top Shelf

**Title: That Old Book on the Top Shelf with the Orange Cover  
****A poem inspired by Shiori and Juri**

If you were taken from your shelf  
And the gold engraved cover wiped clean  
If you were opened up  
Just enough not to crease the spine  
And my fingers traced along the pages  
What secrets would I find  
I could learn to read you  
Though you'd never think it so  
I could find your hidden meanings  
Trace the paths lost within  
And from the words written so clear  
In a paler violet ink  
I would know just how to wash away  
Every memory turned guilded cage  
So as I reach to take a look  
As I dare into this conversation  
I want to believe we are more alike  
Than we ever were different


	6. Strange Glue

**Title: Strange Glue- A Shiori, Kozue, and Juri drabble  
****Rating: PG-13  
****Summary: She said your place are mine while we still got the time, but she doesn't have the right to be with anyone tonight.  
****Characters are not mine. I am just borrowing.  
****Inspired by the song Strange Glue by Catatonia**

Shiori stumbled as she spoke, "Your place or mine?" And then she grimaced and shook her head, "Never mind...I don't have the right to be with you. Not tonight anyway... Can you...walk me home at least?"

The other girl, a bit taller and a touch younger shook her head in disappointment and then wrapped an arm around Shiori's waist in an effort to hold her up. She took in a deep breath as Shiori leaned into her and then began to walk, slowly along the path.

"You know... I clothe and feed my demons to keep them closer to me," the violet-eyed girl slurred with a slight hiccup as they continued the walk. "I don't deserve this... You're so kind Kozue."

She rolled her eyes. She hated drunks, or at least she hated being left in charge of them. And this girl was not something she wanted to deal with at all.

They were almost to the dorms. As they approached a lithe and shadowy figure appeared on the walkway. Kozue prayed that it wasn't a teacher. It wasn't that she fear retribution, she just did not have the patience for both a walking confessional and an authority figure at the same time.

"Need help?"

Of course there was always someone worse to run into. Kozue looked towards the approaching fencing captain and frowned.

"Arisugawa, you are the last person I need help from...however..."

Shiori hiccupped and whispered closely into Kozue's ear, "Take me home...She's too much of a savior. I'll sleep safer with no one around me."

The petite girl's legs seemed to go out from under her and Kozue could barely hold on to her. Juri quickly moved and took the crumbled butterfly up into her arms.

"I'll carry her," the panther breathed. "You lead the way."

Kozue perked an eyebrow, "It's sad, you know; how you'll rush into to rescue her."

"I would do the same for a complete stranger. Long night?"

"Nothing of the sort, it was a party, and a dull one at that. Nothing decent to drink and then at the end when all I want to do is go home... I get stuck with this. She's a sloppy drunk and I tell you something Arisugawa, I now know more about her than I want to."

The stoic fencing captain shook her head and continued walking. The dorms were almost in full view. The petite girl stirred in the panther's arms, nuzzling into her chest.

"Never meant you no harm," Shiori whispered.

Kozue quirked an eyebrow and then shook off the statement.

"I can handle things from here," Juri stated coolly as they reached the dorm. "Thank you for looking after her."

The wild younger classmen merely shrugged and began to walk off, calling over her shoulder, "Don't do anything you'll regret later, Arisugawa."

Juri ignored the comment quickly entering the dorms and making haste towards the correct room. She juggled the girl in her arms for a second while she grabbed a hold of the doorknob and was grateful that she did not make a giant noise, when the door finally opened.

She laid Shiori on the bed and pulled a few covers up over the girl. She looked so broken in the moonlight, a butterfly without her wings.

"I can't sleep,' Shiori muttered.

"Try."

"I've too many secrets I keep, but it's a price I willingly meet you know."

'I suppose."

"Is that you Juri?"

"It is." She stooped down so that she was closer to the girl. She felt in away that she was too close, and she was. The petite girl wrapped her arms up around the fencer's neck and ushered her closer. She placed a small kiss on Juri's lips and then released her.

"I don't need savior," the butterfly whispered.

"I never said I was."

"Let me be...safe and sound with no body around me. I don't have the right...but I would if only you weren't so near."

Juri was unsure what to make of it. She stepped back.

"Princely," Shiori muttered sliding into sleep. "And my prince... she can't know I love her."

With a heavy sigh the fencing captain exited the room

As she stepped out of the dorm and into the cold of the evening she released a breath and said, "The end of the night...never comes too quickly... not for me. It's strange glue that holds us together, dearest... Strange..."

End drabble...


	7. An Offer

**Title: An Offer  
A poem inspired by Chigusa and Juri**

Cold fire and smoky eyes  
She seeks to seduce but her call only lies  
She doesn't know me though she pushed the dare  
She tempts a closeness that hardly seems fair  
But under the flames the spark of her touch  
I find that while enticing they are just not enough  
This game is deadly it taunts for and end  
It wishes away madly and begs me to bend  
To fall under the softness the lightest caress  
To dance in the darkness and find something like rest  
She doesn't know me well  
Oh if she did she could tell  
That intriguing offers and a siren's call  
Are hardly enough to make my heart take the fall  
I could teach a lesson give in to the pleasure  
But the place my love lies can't surrender to the pressure  
It's in chains a prison that is golden  
It haunts my dreams with the promise of passions I drown in  
That fire and ice beauty she longs to tempt me  
But I see past the charade and it borders on cruelty  
I'd never mention aloud where it is my heart lies  
But for now I will say only it lingers in the arms of a butterfly


	8. Complications from the Heat

**Title: Complications from the Heat  
****Rating: R  
****Shoujo-ai Content  
****Summary: Shiori and Kozue find themselves caught up in moment that started so simply.  
****Characters are not mine just borrowing.**

Complicated things always start so simply. The complicated thing Shiori was currently drowning herself in had started as a very easy and light conversation, but from such mediocre beginnings things had erupted about her until she was where she was at, pressed into a wall, lost beyond all reason to the kiss from a predator, although it was hardly as simple as that. There was a little war of wills going on and what began as a quick kiss, a deep kiss, was now traveling passed into the realm of perfect indecency as hands (her own and the other's) quickly traced the line of hems, and edged up under skirts, between the buttons of shirts, and while it was wonderful and while they were perfectly secluded it just was not the correct place.

Still though, how to stop? Such momentum tended to drop once thought and clarity were brought into things and Shiori understood (as she felt marks being left on her skin, teeth tugging at her skin, her own lips, too, eager to mark, to claim what was claimless) that all too well. She liked it better when her thoughts were distracted under lovely fury, a punishment of pleasure that sent her off and left her running on instinct, on want.

Her partner in the heated endeavor was, too, contemplating retreat. She liked the outdoors. She liked the thought of being caught, but...there was being caught, and there was being caught. To Kozue this was no mere attempt to rub at someone the wrong way. This was no dalliance into the dark to prove a point or teach a little lesson. No, no... It was all for her own wanting, and she hadn't been so wildly inspired to chase after a fluttering thing in a long while. She tried to think, even as her senses wished to depart, of a way to move things to a more secluded spot. She didn't feel like being caught, or held up. She wanted. She would take.

Lips parted and breath rushed out to voice the concern, the need to move things to another spot. She looked deeply into the violet eyes of the older girl who was just a trifle more petite than she was, managing to ask, "Who's closer?"

Shiori licked her lips as her mind speedily clicked to a decision. "Me."

And then they were off, moving like shadows against the day lit pathways. Immune to whatever or who ever seemed to be strolling passed them. If anyone had actually passed them at all, but they did not care, and they did not did not see. The heat of the day rising more than just the temperatures within them as they stumbled into the cool, overly air-conditioned, dorm hallways. Slipping passed the other occupants and towards Shiori's room. The door opened swiftly and the two young women spilled inside as the door shut with a delicate click.

Was there giggling in the distance? Was there polite gossip chasing around the pathways, the hallways? Would someone say the wrong thing to the wrong people? It didn't matter. Their ears were deaf to the consequence.

The complete solitude of the room offered all the permission the two needed. Clothing pulled and tugged off hastily, hitting the floor quickly amid kisses, touches, the teasing of a tongue, and the quick scrape of teeth against skin. Until at last they were on the bed and Shiori was held captive under lips that so wished to devour her, pinning down her wings to feast from below. And she found it amusing that she should allow it, to be held when she had fought so hard to dominate, but then she supposed she was dabbling in something she was not quite accustomed to.

The predator, however, would be sharply reminded just how voracious little things could be once Kozue had soundly pushed Shiori over the edge of reason. The petite girl turned the tides quickly, and here and there fingers slipped, hips rocked, lips took plaintive (sometimes desperate, sometimes all consuming, all wanting, all needing) tastes and it was lighter, less savage, yet it still took just as much. It had the ability to bruise just as much. When at last there was hardly anything left to offer up but vague kisses, and the fire, that had been so well fueled, died down to embers, and sleep... that heavy ocean of drowsiness that pushed all thought away and left them to dream... When all that finally slid into place the two were left tangled together amid the mussed bed sheets.

Time for waking pulled at Shiori. She was loosely ensnared in Kozue's arms and the room was dark with what felt (to her) like the sudden arrival of the evening. She hadn't the time to think yet and there was a feeling that instinct would keep fearful thought from intruding for a long, long while. She nuzzled in closer keeping her eyes shut, accepted gently as fingers tickled down her back, and then scrapped softly back up.

The night would be just as warm as the day. And while sleeping further seemed a remarkably easy idea it did not last long in their minds. The predator and the flitting thing opened their eyes to the darkness, kissed, and then the rush returned, taking them deep into the early morning hours. Lazy smiles graced their faces as the light began to intrude. It was quite likely that Kozue purred with contentment when Shiori released a long and shallow sigh.

Simple things were easy to complicate. Shiori understood that, for there she was drowning under the weight and grace of something wild, this younger girl who jumped up to catch her with baited claws. She grinned when at last she moved to search blue eyes for answers, the reasons why, the what to do next, because she was pleased to see that neither knew the next step to take.

"Do you know," Shiori began, almost whispering, "what one of my favorite words is?"

"Maybe..."

end.


	9. Come Home to Me

**Title: Come Home to Me  
A Juri inspired poem**

When you want her she's never there  
She's off and flying  
When you hate her she's always around  
Digging in the soar spot  
Waiting to see your tears  
Because she can only love you if you're broken down  
Will let you take her lips in desperation and regret  
She can only want you if you wear that frown  
My lonely angel she just wants to tear your wings

Come home to me  
When she's left you feeling blue  
Come home to me  
I know just what to do

When she's angry at you loving her  
She flies out of your room  
When she's broken from those good ol' boys  
She'll be wandering back on home  
Waiting for your tears  
Because she can only love you when she's been ruined  
She can only want you when there's nothing for her to give  
My lovely angel she just wants to rip up your wings

Come home to me  
When she's left you feeling blue  
Come home to me  
I know just what to do

When I see you alone sitting in the dark  
Holding back your tears with quiet sobs  
When I hear that lonesome knock on my door  
Reminding me of all the times you've knocked before  
I'll open up... I'll give you a smile to wear  
I'll give you all I am till you don't need anymore  
And the mornings will be lonesome, quiet, and full of doubt  
The mornings will be empty as you wander out  
My lovely angel, lonesome rose, stoic queen  
When will you stay forever, when will you tell her never  
When will you see she just wants your wings

Come home to me  
When she's left you feeling blue  
Come home to me  
Because I know... I know just what to do  
I will keep waiting... and I trust  
One day my love for you will cure your heart of dust


	10. Thoughts of a Flutterby

**Title: Thoughts of a Flutterby – A Shiori drabble  
Rating: PG-13  
Shoujo-ai content  
Summary: The morning after and things pull into focus for the butterfly.  
Characters are not mine I am just borrowing.**

The shades were all drawn leaving the room dark except for a few muted pin pricks of morning light that would filter in to disturb the shadows. All was still, but for the low a nearly silent sound of slumber, and the occasional rustle of the sheets from the slow movement that was the reaction to dreams. Shiori sat motionless at the edge of the bed, her breathing steady, her eyes half shut veiling and darkening the color of them. Part of a sheet was precariously draped about her otherwise naked body and her hair (the color of her eyes, darkened by the shadows of the room) was a semi-wild mess, falling about her face at awkward angles.

Her mind was lost in a flurry of thought as she sat there in the dark. She wanted to look back over the form of the other woman in the bed but, she could not. She shifted just a bit, crossing her legs and brushing her hair from her face, holding it back for a second before letting it go to fall back into place. Her gaze shifted across the whole of the room, the simplicity of it, and of course the marked grace that accompanied that simplicity.

In a way she was unsure what she wanted to do. In a way she wished that for once she could find certainty in her actions, because she never seemed to be able to really decide or keep pace. Her thoughts moved all over the place carried by the wind from one point to another, and when at last they settled something would always occur to make them rise up again...shift...move...flutter along.

After a long while of thinking her violet gaze pulled into focus and she turned her head to consider the woman in bed with her. She thought of all of the things she had ever done that made her feel utterly miserable. The things she did to harm that always ended up turning in on her self as well, and now...Now there was this. This morning after, this waking after a long night of too much... There was just too much of everything.

It bothered her that she was not regretful like she normally was. She was scared by how intensely pleasurable the night had been. That she did not feel ill or conflicted... No, perhaps that wasn't right... She was conflicted but it wasn't the same as before. Before the conflict would have been easy to shuffle through and regret. She could find a way to really hate herself if it had been the same as before. But she supposed she did not succumb to the lust, and to the night for the same reasons. It was not something she was doing out of spite. It was not something she was doing because she felt that that was what she should be doing, wanting.

Her eyes shut briefly and she turned away to look at anything else but the woman behind her.

What had started as something so simple seemed unable to repress itself passed the mere show of regret. And she had meant it, this time. She had really meant every word she said. It cut at her to bring herself to that point of apology and she let her temper go a few times as well when she felt like she was being stifled. She pushed back and... It was okay. It was okay for her to voice her feelings, truthfully, honestly... for once...for one great moment. It was hard for her to do. She was so brilliant at lying sometimes, lying to her self, to others...mostly her self.

As her thoughts cluttered in around her the woman who had been asleep began to stir. Shiori couldn't make herself turn around. She just stayed where she was, staring off into space as the bed began to move slightly. Arms, warm and welcoming, wrapping up around her and she leaned back with her head tilted to the side, leaving her neck exposed. Unable to keep her eyes open when lips graced a trail along in a line, until deciding to depart for a moment, and then touch down again to travel the path once more.

"What are you thinking?" The voice was a soft tickle at her ear.

Shiori turned just enough to look at the woman and lost in the color of hazel eyes darkened by the shadows of the room she replied, "I'm thinking too much." And then she grimaced before finding a smile. "Maybe you can help to rectify that problem."

"I am sure, something can be done."

And then Shiori's thoughts fluttered away as gentle lips, and softer caresses pulled her away from pondering. Would this last? Could it go beyond such easy things? Did it have to become clouded by other things?

She wanted to worry about that. She wanted to think she would end up regretting what she had done, what she was allowing herself to do. She feared it. She dreaded the moment when everything would turn around and she would lose her self to a lie, and ruin what she really wanted, what she'd really always wanted...This moment that she had tried for so long to deny herself. But worry and regret...fear... they could not hold up in her thoughts under such lovely kisses, the feeling that wrapped around her that was greater than the rest. Here was a thought that did not flutter away.

End.


	11. Roses in the Dark

**Title: Roses in the Dark  
A poem inspired by the series Shoujo Kakumei Utena**

I dream of violet roses sitting in the dark  
Of moonlight shining down on them  
In the distance there calls a night bird  
And the moon's shadow cast down on my bed  
Making strange images that dance with the winds low howl

I dream of blue roses sitting in the dark  
Of stars that shine just for them  
And there in the distance a storm comes down  
Rain beats against my window  
Making the vase shatter to the ground

I dream of pink roses sitting in the dark  
Of lamplight casting down on them  
As laughter lifts up from below  
And dew begins to pool on the petals  
Making light of what will soon be ruined

I dream of orange roses sitting in the dark  
Of violet-blue colors that sing to them  
And in the distance a chain is hitting the ground  
The water rushes quickly  
Making a glass tree come down

I dream of roses sitting in the dark  
Colors familiar to tell me a tale  
To give me a vision of what is to come  
I see roses in the dark  
And there are more to come

I see roses that fall  
Roses that shine  
Roses that wish to be divine  
And there are more and more to come  
And those will be some of the blackest ones


	12. Here's Were the Story Ends

**Title: Here is Where the Story Ends: A Juri and Shiori drabble  
Rating: PG-13  
****Summary: They have gone through the motions a thousand times. Now here is where the final decision is made.  
Characters are not mine I am just borrowing.  
**  
Hazel eyes had unknowingly sought out her form from across the room. And upon setting upon her they narrowed in slight disappointment because after so long she thought she had finally mastered her feelings. She had thought that after such a long period, that things would inevitably change, but they only ever changed slightly, they only ever moved away and brought things into clearer focus.

She saw out in the midst of the night club's dance floor a young woman she wanted, but knew after some trying that there was just no way that things could ever work out the way she wanted. The past, the memories that lay there, all those things, eventually killed any hope she had. Something always got in the way of her attempts (their attempts) at something deeper. It was always the same, and now, here it was years later. It seemed it might be time once more to try, or at least test the waters.

Whatever the outcome she knew only one thing... She would not let her heart break when things did not turn in her favor.

The music gave a heady shift into something lighter and was markedly appropriate for the evening of seventies pop music. She leaned back into her chair and crossed her arms over her chest briefly considering her motivation. She could, if she wanted to, ignore the situation all together. But that was the thing...She didn't want to. If she did not go and do something on that night she felt certain that Fate would toss up another opportunity, but she wanted to put an end to this endless test of wills once and for all. She wanted a conclusion, and one that would truly satisfy her. It was not about getting what she wanted. It was not about casting revenge or drumming up the entire past. It was about final closure, the kind that only comes along once in a great while, the kind that many people were not happy enough to receive.

She took a sip from her drink and stood up. She straightened the jacket of her suit, brushing back her light auburn hair, signature curls framing her face as she closed her eyes briefly and then stepped through the tables to the stairs. She moved easily down the steps to the dance floor, gracefully avoiding any that crossed into her path. Until at last the song changed again, something slightly slower, something more telling and she had to chuckle softly at the appropriateness.

The first verse and then the chorus found her gliding with the rhythm, until, at last, in her sight again was the young woman she had spied from her table. She positioned herself purposefully behind the young woman who was lost in her own world of dancing (not exactly elegant in style, not exactly terrible). She danced close and then when the chorus ebbed up again she leaned in and wrapped an arm about the young woman's waist.

"Knowing me, knowing you," she whispered closely into the young woman's ear. And here was where she would either be shoved away, and for the last time, or confronted. She watched in that tight position as the young woman nearly jumped from her skin, turning quickly to face her.

She had to grin as the young woman's violet eyes darkened, staring up at her with marks of pained bitterness, touched hatred, and then, as always, that something else... Something that was deep and secret that she herself could never pull from the young woman. It reminded her of want, or lust. It reminded her of a lot as the eyes narrowed and a grin slid slowly across the young woman's face that was too many things all wrapped up in one. It was a flutter of emotions, but they all eventually wrapped themselves up.

The young woman reached out a hand and let it rest on the other's shoulder and she mouthed the words of the song as they began to dance. Keeping at arms length the entire time as violet and hazel eyes sought a meaning to their meeting, and to the way the song edged up along and prodded at them. And then the taller of the two took the hand from her shoulder, gripping at the wrist lightly to pull the violet eyed young woman closer to her as her free hand brushed through violet locks.

The song closed, the tempo changing once more, lighter faster, but all around the two was standing still. And they stared so hard into each other there should have been bruises to mark them. There should have been something, but there was only the stare, and the slow way they pulled apart, the stare softening. They turned their heads briefly before looking back at each other with softer intentions, the distance once again closing between them till there was little left for them to do.

Violet eyes closed softly reaching out for an embrace, and hazel shut in return before opening again to lead the young woman in her arms off the dance floor, happy to be followed, happy to lead.

They reached an empty table.

"There's nothing more we can do, is there Juri?"

"No... Let me buy you a drink."

End.


	13. I Drove All Night

**Title: I Drove All Night  
****Summary: Driven by the heat a woman takes a drive to meet her lover.  
****Rating: PG-13  
****Author's Note: Bonus cookies if you can figure out the pairing.  
****Shoujo-ai content.**

I'm not sure what's wrong with me but I'm blaming you. Yes, you...because I'm in this car speeding down the highway as fast as I can. The night is hot, and I have to wonder what made you decide to move to the desert. The top is down and my hair is tangling in the wind. The radio is blaring some telling ballads and faster songs, and I have to remember not to press too hard on the gas pedal lest a police officer be waiting somewhere down the road. Although, it feels doubtful that anyone else would be out on this road and at this time of night.

Is this what you always wanted from me, to come rushing into your arms? Is this the feeling you've been living with since high school? My gods, how were you able to stand it? How did you force yourself into control?

I'm a complete wreck. I suppose part of it was the dream, but most of it...most of it was all you. The air conditioning had broken down last week and the room was stifling despite nearly every window being open wide in the apartment. The fans were all on high and the cat, my poor dear cat, was immobile on the widow sill, aching for a breeze. I tore the bedroom apart looking for something to wear, although what would you have thought if I showed up on your door wearing absolutely nothing?

The engine roars, the road sparks off into tight turns, and I shift the gears of my pathetic little convertible bug. And even with the wind, and rush it's still not enough to kill the heat, though it's doing a mildly better job than the fans back home. And you...you are all over in my thoughts.

The look of you, the touch, the way you grin that infuriating grin. It tells me too much. It always has. And I'm not sure I'll get what I want tonight. I'm not sure what I'm thinking is even what I want...not really. But it haunted my dreams, and it's burning a fire through me. If I throw myself up into your arms and over take you with kisses when you answer...And what if you're with someone else?

I'm so willing to look like a fool for you. I can't believe you could ever contain yourself. I can't believe you forced yourself into control, hid yourself behind walls and banished this...this feeling...this flame behind ice. How is it, possible, you never crumbled?

And I'm the fool... because I couldn't see, even after you told me. I am the fool because I played you along so nicely, but now... My eyes shut briefly before focusing back on the road. It's too damn hot, this drive is taking too damn long, and all I want is you.

I chuckle mirthlessly to myself. This is what hell is, and this is pure karma. Oh I have only one wish tonight. I only want one thing. Be alone... be open...be shocked and surprised but take me in.

I veer off the main road and onto one of gravel. The car is bouncing along and probably won't be happy with me for making this trip. As I continue on my stomach does flips and my heart starts to pound. And after twenty minutes of that I can see the porch light in the distance. There is only your truck in the drive and all seems quiet, except that I am tearing up the road and I wouldn't be surprised if-

Yes, there you go...turning on the light.

The car barely seems to slow as I park and then leap out of it. Running...dashing...desperate to reach the door. And I must look so pathetic to you as I reach you. You lean in the doorway and give me that look. You grin that grin as I pant for breath, and before I can catch it...before I can stop myself... I've thrown myself at you. Taking your lips with my own, feeling you grin...relaxing only as you kiss me back and the door shuts.

How could you have kept this feeling from me? How could you do such a thing?

I'm so infected by it now, but it's my own. It's all my own and you scoop me up in your arms to the bedroom and it's all too much so I start to cry.

"Oh don't cry, love... don't cry... you see...you've made it."

I shut my eyes and take the words in... I let you lay me on the bed and in your arms I let it all go. The desperate heat and fire burning up long into the morning hours into the future, to places I can not see. But I'm here...and now... I feel the calm.

End.


	14. The Devil with the Black Dress On

**Title: Devil with the Black Dress On: A Mrs. Ohtori Drabble  
****Rating- PG-13  
****Characters are not Min I am just borrowing.**

Her eyes meet those of the doctor's just as he shut the door to her husband's room. For his own comfort, but mostly her own, she had moved her husband to one of the downstairs bedrooms, and in the early stages of his mysterious illness when he still had most of his faculties still about him, her husband, the chairman of Ohtori Academy, had agreed to the separation. Things had grown steadily worse over the following months though, and she recalled the supportive tone in the doctor's voice when then man congratulated her early decision.

Mrs. Ohtori grimaced as the doctor moved closer, and the man took the expression as a sign of her unwavering commitment to her dying husband. Her true intentions lost under the masks she had learned to wear.

"He is sleeping," the doctor said solemnly. "I do not want to have to say this to you but… You may wish to make-"

"Please." She raised her hand, keeping him from speaking. She shut her eyes and shook her head, walking passed the idiot doctor and into her husband's room. The door shut with a solid click and she leaned back against it, listening carefully to the sound of the doctor's shoes along the wood floor until she was quite certain he was gone.

With nothing but quiet and the raspy breathing of her husband's sleeping filling the room, Mrs. Ohtori sighed with marked irritation before brushing back a lock of her dark turquoise hair. She moved her left hand to her chest and then with a deep breath walked over to the bed. She took a seat on a chair and crossed her legs staring into the semi-darkness for a moment before turning away, eyes narrowed and focused on the drawn curtains.

"You were always a strong man." She said softly. "I suppose that is why you are lingering on like this."

There was no sign of consciousness from the bed and it was to be expected, after all, to ease Mr. Ohtori's suffering the doctor often prescribed a strong pain killer. She wondered if the extra drugs were actually making things worse. It hardly mattered. She was a patient woman. She could out wait anyone.

Years ago it would have seemed impossible that the chairman would take such a turn, but, then, years ago Mrs. Ohtori had not met her daughter's fiancé. Years ago she was just a woman trapped in a dying marriage, and was it that she was too afraid of losing everything, or did he actually threaten her if she tried to leave?

She couldn't remember. Each memory felt real and yet, each memory was completely unreal.

An older woman now, she was used to the money and privilege that had come with her husband's title. She was accustomed to seeking out the passion lacking in her marriage bed through other venues. She was used to playing the happy wife and mother. Used to the pretense that Mr. Ohtori had been her prince, but he was no prince. He was a little boy.

When the young man engaged to her daughter, Akio, had first been introduced to her she pushed her husband and her daughter into accepting him. She pushed them because he was a bright young man with a promising future. She pushed them because she knew what she wanted and understood what she would have to do in order to get it. Her husband took a shine to the young man quickly, and it was easy, so easy, to convince her daughter that she was in love.

Easy, but life was never so easy.

Mrs. Ohtori was not sure how she felt about Akio's sister, but so long as that young lady did not take the family name she could let anything slide. She could pretend, as she always did, to be polite to the young woman. She would subtly encourage her daughter's dislike of Anthy Himemiya, and while Kanae was never vocal about it, being such a privileged and polite princess, her mother could feel the distain, the distrust rising from her.

She stood up and stepped closer to her husband's bed. She sat down on it for a moment and then leaned over to open the drawer on the nightstand. She pulled out a book and opened it to reveal a small vile hidden within it. The glass bottle was almost empty and she had not purchased any more, but that was fine. She was patient and that last bit would be enough. It would do the trick and finish the job.

With ease she unscrewed the cap on the vile and moved it over to her husband's mouth. He was asleep but she could make him drink. She tilted the vile back till every drop inside was gone.

Mr. Ohtori uttered a noise that might have been coughing when his wife moved off the bed.

She put the vile back into the book, shutting it with a grin.

"Sleep well, darling." She whispered and then stepped to the door. "I'll be back shortly. Akio has been neglecting our daughter of late. It really won't do, but I suppose he's been busy looking after the school for you." She paused and then said, "Don't fret…I'll make sure he remembers to take care of her."

She pulled the door open and stepped out into the hall. She shut her eyes briefly and took in a deep breath, the book still in her hands. She would throw it into the fireplace on the way out. It was only a matter of time and she would be free. She would have her wish, that eternally shining miracle that had eluded her her whole life through.


	15. The Pawn

**Title: The Pawn: An Akio Drabble  
****Rating: PG-13  
****Characters are not mine I am just borrowing.**

After the piece had landed on the board it seemed an odd move, out of place amid the perfection of his normal game. His green eyes moved over his opponent's options and he wondered if she would take the opportunity he had offered. She would still lose as he could see a multitude of moves that would correct his slight mistake, but he never actually made mistakes.

She did not know that though, because even though she was engaged to him she knew only what he wished for her to know.

He arched an eyebrow as her slender fingers curled about one of the black marble pieces. She hesitated and he smirked. It would have been an appropriate time for him to make a clever remark, or perhaps flirt, but she was nothing he really wanted. Winning such a match would be a useless victory, and he preferred his victories to have some semblance of a point. He wanted his winning to be meaningful, and for all his playing, toying with her, playing her fiancé, he had won by simply appearing. There was little point in making bolder moves. It would prove nothing.

With slight trepidation she moved the knight, letting her fingers linger on the piece before drawing them back. She looked up at him, those plain brown eyes of hers seeking something from his own. Seeking, those eyes were always seeking. She wanted love, but there was no one left to love her.

He grinned at her and said, "It's getting late. We should continue this game again some other time."

She grimaced, disappointment clear in her features. Nodding she said, "And you won't be sneaky and move the pieces while I am away?"

"The board will remain as you left it, Kanae."

She looked away and nodded again.

If he had any sense of the word he would have pitied her. There she was his fiancée, the discarded daughter of the academy's sickly chairman, ignored daughter. Akio paid her about as much attention as he would a gnat. Shooing her way when she was clearly in the way of other things he wanted, like her mother. He fought a chuckle and it played in the color of his eyes, granting her something she could take as warmth.

Kanae stood up and straightened out the line of her skirt and Akio stood shortly after. He moved towards her and gave her a kiss, a simple and chaste peck on the lips. He could feel her despair swelling up behind her eyes. Tears she wanted to shed that she dare not because to cry would be to believe that he did not love her. She could not do such a thing. She was trapped by their engagement. She had little choice but to believe the lies she had created for herself.

She stepped away brushing a yellow-green lock of hair out of her eyes before stepping into the elevator.

Akio allowed himself the chuckle he had repressed and sat back down on the couch. He looked over the board at where things had been left. The soft sound of movement caught at his ears and he turned his head towards the noise, looking but not looking.

"Would you like to play a game, Anthy?"


	16. Stupid Things We Do

**Title: Stupid Things We Do  
Rating: PG-13  
Characters are not mine.  
A/N: Post series drabble with Saionji and Juri.**

He kissed her, and, for a moment, she was far to shocked to do anything but let it happen. Then, she kneed him in the groin, and when he stumbled back in pain she punched him square across the jaw. She watched him stagger and hit the ground, and then she shook her head and sighed.

He cursed under his breath.

She arched an eyebrow and said, "Are you going to need a doctor?"

He whimpered and from his position on the ground shook his head. "Sorry." He blurted out in pain.

"Are you?" She stepped over to him and held out a hand. "Let me help you to a bench, Saionji."

He shut his eyes tightly for a moment and then allowed himself to be helped up. He limped over to a bench and sat down. She crossed her arms over her chest and sat next to him.

"You're such…" he paused to catch his breath, "a bitch, Arisugawa."

She shut her eyes and her hands balled up into tight fists. Then she took a deep breath and said, "I really am. What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't." His voice was coming back to him.

"Clearly."

"You were open."

"And your innate death wish told you to kiss me?"

He shrugged. "I just thought…for a moment-"

"That I liked boys?" She was baffled.

"That you, might…actually like me."

Juri sighed and then chuckled. "I do like you, you twit. Just not in a romantic sense."

He managed to grin. "Really?"

"Don't get me wrong…You're an absolute fool. You can be unrelentingly misogynistic and underhanded. You have a history of abusing your privileges, and you have a terrible temper." She paused and looked him over, relaxing. "But…I've been watching the way you've changed since everything happened. If you want to be, you can be very honorable, and I respect that."

He nodded.

"If you ever try and kiss me again," she said with a wolfish grin. "I will remove your balls and feed them to you, and I say that, with the greatest of affection."

Saionji rubbed his jaw and nodded. "I believe it."

End.


	17. Summer Haze

**Title: Summer Haze  
Rating: PG  
Summary: Shiori does some reflection during the summer.  
Characters are not mine I am just borrowing.**

She wanted to get used to it, that feeling of being constantly alone, but she never did. It happened with every summer vacation at every school she had attended, the solitude and the abandonment. The utter isolation and feeling left out of things as all the other students were granted leave to visit family, friends, and sometimes even travel. She was never really alone per say, there were usually a handful of students on the campus that were handed the same cruel fate, and sometimes she would try to be friendly, but most of the time she wandered off alone.

She had books after all, more than she could probably read, but she hadn't much else.

Her room was hot because the school was saving money, and, after all, with only one hundred students or so staying behind it made little sense to keep things fully air conditioned. It would have been okay if not for the sticky humidity that accompanied the heat. She would definitely have to head out doors; even her small fan was no comfort and the shade of a tree sounded cooler. It might not actually be cooler, but the sound of it pricked at her, urging the body to drag itself up and out of the dorms.

Violet eyes narrowed against the murky sunlight. There was haze in the air making the heat and the moisture visible to the eye. For a second she regretted her choice, but then her feet began to move her along the cement path and eventually she found a nice tree to sit under over looking a still pond. She set the book she had carried out with her to the side and picked up a stone, tossing it expertly into the water and watched as ripples pulsed out and eventually died away.

She took a breath. The air was thick and tasted of grass and roses. It was such a curious thing that the air was forever permeated with roses. It was such a part of the campus that sometimes the scent would become invisible, but when it had cause to present itself it was always a surprise to remember that the scent was always around. It never really left. It was like a lost memory that would resurface only to be forgotten again. And she frowned slightly as she noted that Ohtori was full of sensations like that. It wasn't just the roses, but a million other things that she could not grasp in that moment, memories that were stolen or changed, or something like that.

With a sigh she picked up the book. It was dog eared and well read. It looked about ready to fall apart. She opened it up to the page she had marked. The particular page she was reading had distinct underlined passages in various colored ink. Her eyes picked up where she knew she had left off and plummeted down the page and on to the next. She devoured that book. She never understood why it was, but she read it over and over. And always there was something new she could take away from it. There was always something that would leap out at her to echo how she was currently feeling, underlining the emotion in invisible ink so that if someone were to, perhaps, reread her they too would find something different.

Too long, the summer break was always too long and this break, this summer, felt like it was going to be the longest she'd ever experienced. She supposed it was something to do with change or perhaps it was because she was actually going to miss the people she called her friends, because for once, they were indeed her friends. Things built so slowly and a second attempt at an apology, or something like that was a remarkable thing. Change was slow to move, but one day her eyes opened and whatever change had occurred suddenly became very apparent. She could look at herself in the mirror and know, and say truthfully, "Shiori, you've changed."

It was a nice feeling to come across. It did, however, make things much lonelier.

She missed lunches and weekends most. Sitting at the cafeteria and chatting away about little nothings and having little nothings sent back. But the funny thing about nothings was how much they piled up and how much meaning could be found under enough layers. She found plenty she had never noticed before. She could have kicked herself for the things she had missed, but that was the past, and it had passed.

She blinked and the words on the page came back into focus. She had wandered out into thought and couldn't tell how long she had been away. Stumbling back she encountered one of those sad and sorry feelings her mind would invent when she was all alone and everyone was out having a good time. It was a sorry little ache that she hated, but it always stuck, especially during the breaks. Why doesn't my family care enough to see me?

Shiori bit at her lip and shook her head. She didn't really want to know the answer. The answer to that one question frightened her more than anything. Her eyes shut and she leaned back against the tree. She listened to the quiet, the sounds in the silence, and after a minute or two she opened her eyes again and really started to read.

Weather's changing  
And I feel myself moving in new directions  
I must wonder though how new they are  
This feels so familiar  
Like something I went through before  
And I can't tell as I stand apart from myself  
If this direction is the right way  
Or just a detour, a brief stop  
A place to reconcile something I forgot


End file.
